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When you hear the words, “I want a divorce”, from your spouse, it can come as a shock. Although, as per the previous blog, the telltale signs have probably been there for years. Our response to those dreaded words and the actions or inactions within the first 90 days are the most critical in determining what happens for the rest of our life. Your Happiness, Health, Children, Finances, etc., all depend greatly on how you respond, how you behave, and what you do or don’t do.


The key to remember is not to establish the status quo. The following list outlines actions you need to take and things you need to be aware of to protect yourself and your children:

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  • Contact the Police head office to make them aware of the notice of divorce, and connect with the Chief and Community relations officer.
  • Contact CAS and let them know about the notice of divorce if the divorce is acrimonious.
  • Contact CRA and let them know as well.
  • Notify Banks, credit card companies and any other lenders of the divorce, remove spouse from accounts
  • Obtain a lawyer
  • Avoid discussing the situation with too many people
  • Maintain a very low profile
  • Avoid Social Media
  • Maintain 50% minimum access to kids (Shared Custody – 1 week on, 1 week off)
  • Do not make any drastic financial changes
  • Do not move out
  • Do not leave access to bank accounts, credit cards, or lines of credit.
  • Cancel supplementary cards
  • Do not leave access to cars that are in your name
  • Remove spouse from insurance (home, car, health) and leave health insurance in place for kids.
  • Assess the DHCP and Pension amounts at the date of separation and from marriage to the date of separation
  • Take inventory of all assets – pictures, videos, etc
  • Change all passwords, security questions/answers
  • Notify schools about divorce
  • Keep all discussions electronic
  • Walk around the house and during any interaction with a digital voice/video recorder.
  • Complete financial assessment
  • Document daily events, issues, and custody time with evidence
  • Get counselling for yourself and your kids
  • Do not discuss anything with children
  • Do not become a security/safety blanket. Maintain custody schedule
  • Notify the children's doctor of the divorce
  • Watch for behavioural changes in children


The time after hearing "I want a divorce" can be very difficult and fraught with emotion. It is important to remember that how you behave in the first 90 days will have a significant impact on your life going forward. The list of things to do and not do should help you get through this tough time. Remember to keep all discussions electronic, avoid social media, and walk around your house with a digital voice/video recorder. Most importantly, try to maintain custody schedule and keep communications limited to what is necessary for the children's well-being.

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If you're going through a divorce or legal separation and are struggling to resolve custody-related matters, The CustodyMate Ecosystem can help you. The Website contains a great deal of information, along with a robust Blog that has hundreds of articles on everything related to divorce and separation, a Forum where you can interact with others going through the same process, a Knowledge Center where you can search for resources, and a robust Web and Mobile Application that will assist you as you navigate the divorce and separation process.


https://custodymate.com/signup.php


With The CustodyMate Ecosystem, you'll have all the information you need in one place so you can make informed decisions about what's best for your family. And because The CustodyMate Ecosystem is available 24/7, you can access it anytime, anywhere. So if you're looking for a way to keep track of your custody situation, The CustodyMate Ecosystem is the perfect solution.

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