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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone says just the right thing to make you feel good, only to later realize their words were as empty as the air around you? Maybe it was a colleague, a boss, or even a friend—someone who seems to talk the talk but fails to walk the walk. They say what needs to be said in the moment, appeasing the people in the room, but like the changing wind, they shift their stance the moment they walk into another room. This might feel comforting at first, but ultimately, it's not leading anywhere. As a leader, I’ve witnessed this countless times—and it’s left me wondering: Why do some leaders say what people want to hear instead of what they need to hear?

Why Do We Avoid Hard Truths?

It's easy to see why leaders fall into the trap of telling people what they want to hear. It feels safe, it makes people happy, and it avoids immediate conflict. But what’s the long-term cost? Think about the last time someone sugarcoated the truth for you. Maybe they gave you positive feedback when you really needed constructive criticism. Sure, it felt nice at the time, but how did you feel later when you realized that what they said wasn't helping you improve?

Why do we avoid the hard conversations that challenge us to grow? Is it fear of confrontation? Fear of losing approval? Or is it that we’ve become so accustomed to short-term validation that we overlook the long-term value of growth?

The Cost of Avoiding the Truth

Let me share a personal story. A few years ago, I was in a leadership position with a team that was struggling. Our performance metrics were consistently below expectations, and I knew we needed a change. But instead of addressing the root cause, I found myself giving vague, feel-good feedback. I was trying to keep morale high, thinking it would help motivate the team.

It didn’t. In fact, the team’s performance declined even further. Why? Because they weren’t getting the feedback they needed to improve. And, to be honest, I wasn’t giving myself the feedback I needed to become a better leader either.

I realized that by avoiding the hard truths, I was failing them—and myself. My responsibility as a leader wasn’t to make them feel good in the moment, but to help them grow, even if that meant having uncomfortable conversations.

Why Do We Need Honest Leadership?

As leaders, why is it so hard to deliver the truth when it’s not what people want to hear? The answer lies in our instinct to be liked, to be seen as compassionate, and to avoid conflict. But here’s the thing: real leadership isn’t about being liked all the time. It’s about earning respect, and you earn respect by being authentic, consistent, and—yes—honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Have you ever thought about what happens when leaders only tell people what they want to hear? It creates a culture of complacency. It stunts growth. It leaves people unprepared for the real challenges they’ll face in the future.

Challenging the Status Quo

What if we flip the script? What if, instead of avoiding hard truths, we embraced them? Imagine a leader who doesn’t just pat you on the back but gives you the honest feedback you need to become better. This kind of leadership builds resilience, fosters trust, and drives long-term success.

Now, don’t get me wrong—there’s a way to deliver tough feedback without crushing someone’s spirit. It’s not about being harsh for the sake of it. It’s about being clear, constructive, and compassionate. It’s about having the courage to say what needs to be said and the wisdom to say it in a way that empowers, not discourages.

A New Way Forward

So, how do we move from saying what people want to hear to what they need to hear? Here’s the challenge for all of us: let’s commit to honesty, not just in words, but in action. Let’s be the kind of leaders who prioritize long-term growth over short-term comfort. Let’s create spaces where people can trust us to tell them the truth, even when it’s hard to hear.

As you reflect on your own experiences, ask yourself: Are you giving people the feedback they need to hear, or are you holding back to avoid discomfort? Are you building a culture of growth, or are you contributing to stagnation?

A Call to Action

If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: Leadership is not about making people comfortable—it’s about making them better. So the next time you’re tempted to sugarcoat the truth, stop and ask yourself: What do they really need to hear right now? Because the greatest leaders don’t just talk the talk—they walk the talk, and they help others walk it too.

By embracing the hard conversations, we become the kind of leaders who inspire real, lasting change. So let’s stop chasing approval and start chasing progress—together.

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