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Do not establish Status Quo!!!

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When you hear the words, “I want a divorce”, from your spouse, it can come as a shock. Although, as per the previous blog, the tell tale signs have probably have been there for years. Our response to those dreaded words and the actions or inactions within the first 90 days are the most critical in determining what happens with the rest of your life. Your Happiness, Health, Children, Finances, etc. all depend greatly on how you respond, how you behave, and what you do or don’t do.

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The key to remember is, not to establish status quo. The following list outlines actions you need to take and things you need to be aware of to protect yourself and your children:

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  • Contact Police head office to make them aware of the notice of divorce, connect with the Chief and Community relations officer
  • Contact to CAS and let them know about the notice of divorce if the divorce is acrimonious
  • Contact CRA and let them know as well
  • Notify Banks, credit card companies and any other lenders of the divorce, remove spouse from accounts
  • Obtain a lawyer
  • Avoid discussing situation with too many people
  • Maintain a very low profile
  • Avoid Social Media
  • Maintain 50% minimum access to kids (Shared Custody – 1 week on, 1 week off)
  • Do not make any drastic financial changes
  • Do not move out
  • Do not leave access to bank accounts, credit cards, lines of credit.
  • Cancel supplementary cards
  • Do not leave access to cars that are in your name
  • Remove spouse from insurance (home, car, health) leave health insurance in place for kids
  • Assess the DHCP and Pension amounts at the date of separation and from marriage to date of separation
  • Take inventory of all assets – pictures, videos, etc
  • Change all passwords, security questions/answers
  • Notify schools about divorce
  • Keep all discussions electronic
  • Walk around the house and during any interaction, with a digital voice/video recorder
  • Complete financial assessment
  • Document daily events, issues, custody time with evidence
  • Get counselling for self and kids
  • Do not discuss anything with children
  • Do not become a security/safety blanket. Maintain custody schedule
  • Notify the children's doctor of the divorce
  • Watch for behavioural changes in children

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