‍

When a separation or divorce leads to hospitalization, it can be a very difficult time for all involved. For children, it can be especially traumatic to see their parents in such a state. It is important to try and keep them as informed as possible, and to ensure that they know that they are not responsible for the situation.

‍

For adults, hospitalization can be a frightening experience. It can be difficult to cope with the stress of a separation or divorce, and the added pressure of being in the hospital can be too much for some people. It is important to seek support during this time, whether from family, friends, or a therapist.

‍

In order to avoid hospitalization, it is important to seek help early if you are feeling overwhelmed by the separation or divorce. There are many resources available, and there is no shame in asking for help. If you are having difficulty dealing with your emotions, please reach out for support.

‍

We all know that separation and divorce can cause a great deal of tension and stress, I could not have imagined that in my case.

‍

1 – Within the first 30-60 days of being told my spouse wanted a divorce, I went from being ranked #1 out of 400K employees to being told I am not performing to expectations and I had 30 days to find a new job.

‍

2 – Within the next 30-60 days, I would have an incident where I started to go numb while driving and to avoid crashing, I would just barely manage to pull my car into a parking lot, end up crawling out of my car and dragging myself on the ground to a coffee shop, and ask for help before my mouth locked shut, fingers locked in an awkward manner, and i was unable to move. After spending 11+ hrs in a hospital undergoing numerous tests and being told it could have been a stroke, I was told all those symptoms were the result of a severe anxiety attack.

‍

3 – Two years later, out of a brutal four year divorce, I found myself in another non-english speaking country, undergoing angioplasty, as a result of hospitalization from severe chest pains.

‍

4 – Eight years later, four years after the divorce was finalized, I would have to take time off from work due to chest pains, dizziness, headaches, blurred vision and other symptoms, as a result of ongoing issues with my ex-spouse.

Who could have imagined that four simple words, “I WANT A DIVORCE”, can have severe psychological and physiological impact on you. Enough to cause you to spiral out of control and nearly lose your life. On one side, your Ex-Spouse’s goal is to derail you and cause as much damage as possible. On your side, you are fighting to stay alive for yourself and your children.

‍

I have come across many situations where, as a result of either spouse not being prepared, they have experienced severe illnesses, resulting in hospitalization. Your mind controls how your body behaves. The best way to minimize impact to your body is to ensure you mind is healthy. The way to accomplish this is to ensure, as i have stated in previous blogs, that you document everything with evidence and use journal therapy.

‍

If you have children, document, track, and report with evidence, when you had the children and what you did with them. Keep all interactions to electronic form and document any and all issues and concerns and attach evidence if available. This can be text messages, emails, letters, video captures, etc. Finally and most important of all, ensure you seek counselling and use journal therapy to investigate, dialog with and analyze your thoughts and feelings.

‍

My journey has been challenging. It has been nearly 8 years now since the separation and divorce process started, 4 years since the divorce was finalized and I am still struggling to co-parent with my ex-spouse. While there are many quiet periods and even periods where we are talking about the children’s education, health and other important matters, out of the blue I will be pulled into situations where for no reason, court orders are being flagrantly violated and there are continuous challenges to my parenting plan, parental alienation efforts being made, parental influence being made, and threats made in getting local police and children’s aid involved.

‍

I continue to document issues and use journal therapy as a form of therapy to protect myself. I will continue doing this even when the children are no longer children of the marriage and have moved on with their lives.

‍