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Today is the labour day holiday, the day before school starts. In my separation agreement, we have orders from the court that specifically state that holidays shall be shared 50/50. Regardless of whether there is a court order or not, one would assume that both spouses would want to equally split the holidays as that would be in the best interest of the children.

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Typically, in separation agreements, you would have a general holiday clause that would look similar to this:

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HOLIDAY ACCESS

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  1. The Parties agree that the Holiday schedule overrides the regular residence schedule as set out in this Order.

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The reason for this language is to ensure that regardless of who’s access weekend/week it is, the holiday is treated as a separate entity. For example, if the weekend the holiday falls on is your spouse’s weekend, your spouse can make the claim that, the holiday is on their weekend and you do not have access.

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The specific holiday would be treated with the following language to ensure there is no uncertainty as to which children will come, when they will come, where they will be picked up, when they will be returned and where they will be dropped off. The more details you have, the less conflict you will experience:

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Labour Day

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  1. The children shall spend Labour Day equally with both parents
  2. The Children are A, B, C
  3. The timings shall be 9am to 3pm and 3pm to 9pm (or whatever schedule you set)
  4. The Children shall be picked up from Location X
  5. The Children shall be dropped off at Location X
  6. The father will have first choice in odd-numbered years and the mother will have first choice in even-numbered years

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The intent of this clause is to ensure that regardless of who’s access weekend/week it is, if there is a holiday, the parties should equally divide the holidays.

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Now the challenge occurs when your Ex-Spouse refuses to avoid by the court order. What can you do? Do you:

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  • Send an email and wait anxiously for a response
  • Send a text and wait anxiously for a response
  • Confront the Ex-Spouse and risk the situation getting out of control
  • Hire a lawyer and go to court to convert the court orders to police enforceable actions
  • Hire a lawyer and go to court to file a contempt motion

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All of the above will result in conflict which can create tension and stress, causing psychological and physiological impact to you. Not to mention, impact to the children, and finances. While you have the option of looking the other way, you run the risk of demonstrating to your ex-spouse that you are a pushover and will not hold them accountable. You will also demonstrate to the courts that you do not care about the affected court orders as you are not enforcing them.

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For the sake of your children and yourself, it is advisable that you hold your ex-spouse accountable and demonstrate that you are willing to do what is necessary to protect your interests and your children’s interests.

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